Contemporary Beauty Standards

What is Happiness?

Subjectively, it seems as though society's perception of beauty is taking a step in the right direction to become more attainable, leading to a (slow and steady) increase in self-acceptance amongst females.

In a world where women are expected to look like models direct from a Victoria's Secrets runway, consciously choosing to reject the unobtainable expectations of 'beauty' that are placed upon us can be difficult to achieve; and accepting one's appearance for what it is - natural and imperfect - can be even harder. 

However, in raising awareness among our children and students regarding the western world's constructed nature, the less susceptible future generations are likely to become when faced with dangerously persuasive advertising and media designed to threaten independent thought. 'Propaganda' in this form (also highly present on social media sites of which young people access with ease) is particularly damaging to a young person's self-esteem and appreciation of their own identity.

My focus today is young girls. It is my hope that one day fewer females will feel the need to alter their appearance for the sake of others: makeup, eating disorders and cosmetic surgery presenting potential dangers to their psyche. Instead, our girls of tomorrow should focus on their inner beauty, their health, and embrace the face they were born with. If western culture were to adopt and instil this attitude now, future generations may very well reap the benefits of an emotionally stable society, producing sophisticated and self-confident women in abundance.

Practising what I preach: an unfiltered selfie without makeup, wet hair in an embarrassing turban, and a happy smile to boot. 

Before you wail, "Au naturel?! You're crazy, woman!", take a moment to assess your own appearance and the measures you take to conceal your physical identity:

Does a dash of mascara highlight your almond eyes? Ok, cool. 

Does a tapered pair of slacks elongate your legs and complement your heels, providing you with a little extra confidence before you take on the boardroom? Totally plausible!

However...

Do you wear tight, revealing clothing to seek the attention of some guy you barely know? 

Are you forking out excessive amounts of money on regular spray tans, hair extensions, waxing, and eating well-below your daily calorie intake so as to imitate the unfair, contemporary ideals forced upon us in magazines such as Playboy and Ralph? 

If your motivator is to gain the acceptance of an individual or group, it's probably time to take a step back.

Happiness comes from within; it is acknowledging all your flaws and embracing them as well as you do your own strengths. 

The sooner we come to practise beauty in its most natural and simplistic form, the greater our chances of self-acceptance - and ladies, that is a step in the right direction. 

By Belinda Pearce

13/10/15.

Evocative Music

What Is Love?

What is it about certain songs that evoke empathy in the listener? Is it the perfect amalgamation of intricately composed music and complementary lyrics? Is it the composer’s integrity and influence of context in writing the song? Or does it simply come down to the idiosyncratic performance of the artists themselves?

Evocative songs target a gamut of audiences, are not genre specific and embody a range of relatable themes. Paramore for example can persuade their fans to feel heartbroken, angry, complacent and victorious within the capacity of one album. The Beatles hold the power to evoke an array of seemingly endless emotions: excitement, nostalgia, introspection, regret, a sense of spirituality and of course, love.

I’ve noticed though that as listeners we gravitate towards particular songs in order to match a relevant mood; we want to feel understood in times of hopelessness, instability or love and lust. While this quality is potent in itself, what I find even more fascinating are the rare songs that give the listener no choice but to feel what the vocalist expresses in the song, whether invited or not.

Love is a common theme in pop music and often the go-to concept for lyricists seeking to make a quick buck (particularly in the music industry today). But what is love? And how do we as listeners know what it feels like if we haven’t yet experienced it for ourselves? Countless musicians have lamented this conundrum in hundreds, maybe thousands of songs over the years. Foreigner even wrote a well-known power ballad about it.

In considering which artists have compelled me to ‘fall in love’ in four minutes or less, three songs immediately come to mind: ‘As The World Falls Down’ by David Bowie, ‘Universe’ by Kind of Pluto, and ‘Don’t Get Me Wrong’ by The Pretenders.

For those of you who have never experienced love or romance first-hand, allow yourself to become lost in the rhythmic storytelling of these songs, and you’ll understand what it feels like to be both loved and in love.

‘As The World Falls Down’ - David Bowie

Rhythm:

Imagine you’re sitting on a cramped subway, desperately seeking a mental escape for the remainder of your journey home after a long day’s work. You scroll through your iPod playlist for something elegant and serene. “Ah! Now we’re talking,” you think to yourself as you settle on David Bowie’s ‘As the World Falls Down’. You pop your headphones in and allow your mind to escape the hustle and bustle of this overcrowded city vessel… at least for the next three minutes and forty seconds.

The song’s constant beat in 4/4 time has you tapping your finger gently on your leg in your conscious state, while every second beat sees you sway gently from side to side inline with the carriage’s movement along the track. As you close your eyes, you slowly fall into a fantasy of which you’d never consciously imagined before. You see your perfect match, a man of unfamiliar appearance, moving in graceful strides towards you across a wide, softly lit space, through a sea of blurry figures, - his eyes locked on yours the entire time. This astounding person takes your hands as you stand there breathlessly; it’s as if time has frozen and you’re the only two people in the room.

The subway ride continues, and the beat leads you further into your reverie. As your head falls slowly and sways in 2/4 time, the corners of your mind tell you it is rested peacefully upon this man’s chest, your eyes closed, feeling completely at ease.

The song’s subtle fade out, avoiding the cadence typical of so many contemporary love songs, allows your dream to come to an unobtrusive end… unless you’re listening to this song on repeat, in which case, your existence in this dream-state is essentially endless, and your ability to feel adored can continue.

Instruments:

The slow touch of the piano keys, producing treble notes of different octaves sound not only like drops of dewy condensation as they drip off the petals of a pastel rose in the fresh morning light, but the gentle caress of a kind lover. The delicate melody seemingly alludes to a thoughtful, fresh Sunday morning in a sunbathed room, two lovers cuddling as they look out a thinly veiled window to a placid scenery. In this moment, it is the two lovers alone, and it is comfortable and blissfully serene.

The powerful bass, holding every third note over two beats mimics the strengthening of a deep bond between two lovers, while the electric guitar creates an emotive crescendo, building your own passion to the highest possible point; this marks the exhilarating point in a new relationship when the chance of falling in love is at its peak. The crescendo marks the journey upon rocky terrain into love, while the diminuendo marks the ease felt when the feeling is reciprocated by the right person, leading you out of the lonely desert and to the wide, grassy meadow of which your love can now grow.

Lyrics:

Not only does Bowie employ visual imagery to describe what he wants you to see in his romanticised world, but so too does he describe the specific process of falling in love in its simplest and most beautiful form, quite implicitly through the metaphoric descriptions of his universe. The lyrics convey the intensity of his adoration for you: essentially, you are the air he breathes, the water he drinks, the land upon which he walks, the stars he gazes to at night. Without you, he simply could not exist. [To prove this theory, listen to Bowie’s ‘Within You’, also featured on the Labyrinth soundtrack.]

Bowie makes promises, and unlike your past lovers, you know he intends to keep them. [When I refer to Bowie in this sense, I refer to him as the voice of the fantasy realm created in this song, not Bowie the composer.] His evocative and gentle tone, expressed with buttery vocals details the lengths he will go to nurture the relationship, protect your heart and remind you of your self worth.

‘I’ll paint you mornings of gold /

I’ll spin you Valentine evenings’

Without you, his world is without merit. In fact, he goes so far as to attribute parts of the universe to your own body, and project his love for you as far as the universe will allow.

‘I’ll place the sky within your eyes…

I’ll place the moon within your heart…
I’ll leave my love between the stars…’

Quite simply, you are his universe.

Bowie juxtaposes his pure feelings with your past heartbreak. He understands why you may be reluctant to let your emotional walls down – he’s psychoanalysed you; however, this isn’t the emotional manipulation you may have experienced in past relationships, no. Here, Bowie shows you exactly what love is by reminding you of what it is not.

‘As the pain sweeps through /

Makes no sense for you /

Every thrill is gone /

Wasn’t too much fun at all /

But I’ll be there for you /
As the world falls down.’

Not only is Bowie, in reality, an incredible musician and a convincing actor, he is quite simply one of the most perceptive lyricists of our time. The interconnectedness of songs such as this, complementing supporting songs on the Labyrinth soundtrack, prove the depth of his lyrical expertise, his value of the English language and expanse of his ability to empathise with lonely and loving souls alike.

‘Universe’ - Kind of Pluto

Rhythm:

The acoustic guitar leads the 4/4 time in this song, the beat accentuated by the presence of varying percussion - namely, cymbals which challenge the monotonous backbone of your standard pop song’s beat. The light and unexpected crashing of the cymbals conveys an image of exploding fireworks, connoting the excitement and unpredictability of new love.

The percussion’s sudden silence before the commencement of each verse allows lead singer Steven Gates to vocally paint you the picture of a beautiful, imagined landscape without distraction. The silence also resembles the anticipation and heart-stopping moments one can expect to experience when holding onto (potentially) ‘the one’. It is reminiscent of hanging onto your lover’s every word, whereas the continuity of the gentle drums eases the listener back into a state of comfort, imagining the solidarity of their nuevo amor.

Instruments:

The reverb of the acoustic guitar at the very beginning of the song, coupled with the wave-effect of the electric guitar’s tremolo bar narrates the resonate love between two people. Everything around these lovers is a blur as they walk hand in hand, their understanding of the world around them uncomplicated by a vignette perspective, and focussing solely on one another.

Gates’ vocal intonation complements the music and lyrics well: fragility, hope, frustration, quiet introspection, even a little audaciousness all delicately align with the tone of the song’s lyric. At times, his vocals even express a sense of surprise for the absolute resonance of his love for you.

The structure and auditory build-up of the song effectively complement this tone, actively evoking from the listener the emotions one would imagine the singer to have experienced when writing this piece.

In short, Steven Gates’ vocal performance is an integral instrument in itself, taking the listener on an emotional journey where the understanding and true feeling of love is the destination.

Lyrics:

‘Universe’, in its lyrical abstractedness appears at first to be a string of disconnected ideas, symbolically linked by one central theme.

‘Clouds are dripping from the sky / it’s magnificent outside
Nothing could be closer than the two of us.’

In actuality, the skillful, ethereal nature of these lyrics is reminiscent of Bowie's 'As the World Falls Down' in its structure. The overwhelming sense of power headed by Gates’ universe is juxtaposed with love itself. While the Earth’s creation is awe-inspiring to the majority, to this quixotic pair, their togetherness is all that matters; their connection is their world.

‘We’ll embrace every resistance / and malice is forbidden
We’ll snigger at existence / yeah, we are our own religion.’

The song is not without its fairytale elements as Gates alludes to the idealistic genre in all its innocence in the crescendo. ‘Concede in happiness / believe in ever after’ is then juxtaposed with the melodramatic ‘set fire to the floorboards / and be hanging from the rafters’, proving the force of passion and masculinity within an otherwise achingly sensitive soul.

Gates, portraying the voice of your ideal romantic partner describes every spectacular scenario as an experience he shares with you, and only you. This is a man you want to trust, and can with every part of your being.

Outside the realm of the song, Gates is, in appearance, your characteristic Australian male. His performance of such tender lyrics, written by the man himself, persuades the female listener to believe that a pure, two-way love exchange exists in real life, adding to his textual integrity as a lyricist and performer. Ladies, there’s hope for us yet.

‘Don’t Get Me Wrong’ - The Pretenders

Rhythm:

The constant drum in 4/4 time echoes your anticipation when counting down the hours until you see your crush again. It's not erratic, but it's certainly not to be ignored. Experiencing this beat is like walking with a spring in your step: you aren’t strolling, and you’re not skipping, but you are walking with your head high, the feeling of confidence and elation exploding throughout your body right through to your fingertips. You may try hard to withhold your excitement by pursing your lips together tightly, however you can’t withhold your goofy lovesick grin from the general public.

Instruments:

The electric guitar, which plucks the same riff varying only in key throughout, expresses the strong hope an individual holds onto in the uncertain stage of any new relationship. It is like trying to keep your head on straight while your heart threatens to leap out of its chest overzealously; like sitting by the phone, biting your lip and twiddling your thumbs, eyes staring off into space as your imagination wanders to the far corners of your psyche, struggling to balance damaging fictional scenarios with an uneventful reality. In doing so, the electric guitar perfectly captures the uncertainty and eagerness of such one-sided infatuation.

Lyrics:

Dreamscapes and romanticised scenes akin to the rare feeling imagined when you think you’ve met 'the one' are so cleverly depicted through metaphor in the band’s 1986 hit. ‘The mystic moon is playing havoc with the tide’ resembles the power imbalance felt when in lust with the idea of someone you barely know. ‘I split like light refracted… across a moonlit mile’ depicts the absence of level-headedness felt by any man, woman or child who has ever fallen head over heels for someone deemed emotionally distant.

What is so beautiful about this song is that while the music and general tone suggest a strong, overwhelming feeling upon first meeting, the hyperbolic lyrics admit human flaw: that in the moment when our emotions take heed, we view the world around us through rose-coloured lenses.

‘Don’t get me wrong /
If I fall in the mode of passion’

Most people want to believe in ‘the one’, so when a rare connection is felt, many allow themselves to believe that the universe has led them to meet. We as mere mortals begin to piece together a puzzle in the form of signs that don't exist in order to suit a reality we hope to achieve; this is captured majestically in each verse.

‘I see neon lights whenever you walk by...
I’m thinking about the fireworks that go off when you smile’

While to the nearby voyeur there is nothing of substance to note, Hynde captures in her lyrics the plentiful range of emotions felt when blinded by the idea of love. The person you fall for, it seems, is inconsequential when expressed in such a way. In this way, love as expressed in this song is not felt for one person in particular, but rather becomes an expression of your willingness as a listener to be open to love one day. And that is love in one of its most innocent forms.

Regardless of what is happening in the listener’s life at the time, these songs, and songs with similar strengths, allow listeners to escape reality, for better or worse. Lyrically, Bowie, Hynde and Gates effectively utilise a number of language techniques to allow for subjective (and seemingly endless) interpretation. Not only do their lyrics appear aesthetically appealing in print, they're also effective in appealing to a broad audience.

Universal themes of love and well, the universe in all its grandeur is a commonality between these three songs, comparing emotion and the value of love to the wonders of the world itself; while the sophisticated and well-produced layering of melodic instruments emotively entrances you as the listener, drawing you into a mode of fantasy within twenty seconds of play.

As human beings whose natural instinct it is to pair up (solitary confinement is a form of punishment after all), songs like ‘As The World Falls Down’, ‘Universe’ and ‘Don’t Get Me Wrong’ allow those of us navigating the single life to partake in the exceptional experience of love in a safe, satisfying and inspiring way.

So for those of you with an untouched heart, notice the tingling under your skin, that smile that creeps across your face without permission, the flurry in your heart as you drift into a romantic daze, and the fireworks that dazzle your vision. As you listen to these songs you'll no longer sense exclusion to the feeling, because that overpowering sensation, my friends, is what love is.

Written by Belinda Pearce

20/9/15

There Are No Rules: In Love

There Are No Rules: In Love

Here’s the situation. A confident, successful, friendly and motivated woman in her late twenties is seen to be all of the above through the eyes of her friends, family and peers. “You are gorgeous!” they say. “You’re so clever!” they chime. But there is one fallible flaw in her near-perfect being: she is single.

No stranger to the question “do you have a boyfriend yet?” this modern girl is in constant defense mode. The belief seems to be that once one leaves high school, the single female is placed on the stage of a metaphorical pageant where she is expected to outshine all other female contenders for the attention of the all-male audience. Challenges include to:

• stand out in a swarm of beautiful women who are far more confident of their physical appearance than you are of yours 
•  evade creeps
• strategically friend-zone where needed
•  avoid making the first move
•  avoid rejection at all costs
• inevitably deal with being rejected when an error in judgement has led you to make the first move
•  and most importantly, maintain your integrity at all times.

The prize, of course is to make it through to the next round, which involves exiting the coruscating stage hand-in-hand with your partner, excited to be courted by this interesting new person. While you blush with plume, onlookers either applaud your triumph or glare at you with jealous eyes (and you secretly hope it's the latter). But not everyone is an instant winner.

If you’re lucky, you won’t be on this stage for long. You begin to notice that as your fellow contestants leave with their new playmates, the stage lights slowly start to dim. You find yourself pacing over a limited area of the hardwood floor, wearing the black finish to a dull grey, now unable to see the exit clearly as it is too far to reach from the centre of this dark and dusty stage. You keep yourself busy. You try to entertain yourself, but before you know it, only one theatre light has been left on, and it’s a standard four-dollar bulb flickering from a distant corridor down the aisle leading to the toilets. The audience left hours ago. You’ve missed your cue.

So, why is being a single female so taboo in this modern society of ours? Allow me to share a little about myself. I am nearly 27 years old and to the curiosity of some, have only ever had one boyfriend.

I was 21 or 22 at the time, and my immaturity and lack of experience led me to make excuses for his errors. I put up with far more than I ever would today and I gave second chances (sometimes third and forth). Our relationship was psychologically volatile: he enjoyed the thrill of playing mind games of which I was absolutely aware; questioned my religious beliefs and dismissed my request to ‘label’ our relationship as paranoia [he was openly in contact with his most recent ex-girlfriend, flirted with his female co-workers and made no apologies for this behaviour]. While he was not the first guy I dated by any means, he was the first I’d fought for emotionally, ignoring my better judgement. Evidently, society’s perpetual fear had subliminally crept into my psyche.

That was five or six years ago and it’s true, I haven’t had a boyfriend since. Subsequently, I’ve been on some first dates but never, if my memory serves me correctly, any seconds. [If there were second dates, they were unremarkable.] I consciously avoid referring to my ex-boyfriend in conversation because the relationship isn’t a reflection of who I am today, nor does it emulate any feelings I had back then or now. Typically what follows the mention of this relationship are concerns like “So, are you single now because no one really compares to your ex?” or “Do you ever think about getting back in touch with him?” And then there’s “Are you too scared to date now because you think you’ll be hurt again?” The answer to each of these questions is no, simply because I know I deserve better.

It baffles me that people from my past or present would want me to settle for a mediocre, if not damaging relationship replete with domestic imbalance. Many insist I date the next random to waltz into my life, regardless of age or past experience. These people find it incomprehensible that I would rather be single than lower my standards significantly. “You’ll find love when you least expect it” they say with great enthusiasm, as if they were gazing into a telling crystal ball.

Well, here’s a (contracted) list of gentlemen I’m supposed to have willingly considered as suitors when I ‘least expected it’:

• The creepy forty-something tattoo artist that resembled Andy Serkis and who I initially thought was gay.
• A happily married thirty-something friend of mine (apparently the fact that he’s married with three kids isn’t a concern to some).
• The suspiciously Russian-sounding “LA native” (his words) that approached me in San Francisco to ask where the nearest Starbucks was. Once I answered his question, he stared in silence, then finally said “You’re really cute”. Keep it moving, buddy.
•  The countless Indian males (old and young) who have, within moments of meeting me, told me I am beautiful and that they feel an ‘unconditional love’ for me. (Seriously, this happens more than you know.)
• The sinister 32 year-old storeman I worked with when I was 19 whose advances weren’t welcome.
• The stout, freckled, opinionated thirty-something work acquaintance whose female bestie refused to believe I didn’t want to date him, having thrown the idea out publicly six or seven times.
• A few young, attractive males who’ve chosen to complain about their long-time girlfriends to me while sussing out whether I was interested in them by openly flirting. Gentlemen, that’s not ok. Go be with your girlfriend. By the sound of it, you’re lucky to have her.
•  …and many others, but I need to stop; this list is exhausting me.

Another social taboo I’ve experienced is that of living alone. Apparently it is questionable for a single female to have her own place, even in 2014. An annoying question I am often faced with is, “Isn’t that lonely?” This question is, ninety-nine percent of the time asked by someone who has never been alone a day in their life; often females who jump from one boyfriend to another and don’t know how to navigate the ‘single life’. It is liberating being able to go home to a place that is mine: I can watch what I want when I want; arrange the furniture as I like, and I don’t need to worry about sharing the living room if a housemate decides to have friends over. The fact that it still shocks some to discover that a female can live self-sufficiently in today’s day and age threatens to disturb the progress we have made as a society in terms of women’s independence. Recently, I’ve noticed that society panicking about my relationship status becomes less about my desire to find a partner and more about its need to fulfil quixotic expectations. Living alone in one’s twenties gives women the opportunity to know themselves before entering the relentless dating arena, where selflessness is key.

Today, dating is competitive. Perhaps it always was, but in your late twenties and thirties, it is magnified. Social media plays a major role in fueling this fire and false representations of what is considered beautiful such as sexualised, retouched images in our contemporary society threaten to damage a woman’s self-worth, preventing her from confidently vying for a man’s attention. If we were to revisit the pageantry metaphor, rather than sprucing up my hair; throwing myself into a short, tight-fitting dress with a low neckline; batting my eyelashes and flicking my hair until the judges gave me the thumbs up, my performance would see me wearing edgy skinny jeans, lace-up indie boots, a black hoody and if I’m feeling particularly vehement, the bird times two. Dating shouldn’t be a contest based on appearance and sexual desire alone. It also shouldn’t be a platform for men or women to gloat or objectify their ‘trophy partner’ on social media as a means of concealing their insecurities.

Recently, I confided in a close friend that I’d met someone special, and as cliché as it may sound, I felt a ‘connection’. Though a little younger than I, he has proven himself to be the most mature twenty-something male I’ve met thus far (and genuine, and funny, and smart, and handsome – the list goes on. #smitten). Almost instantly we found common ground, and soon we started talking daily, if only in passing.

My friend (recently engaged to her boyfriend of eight years) listened with excitement and great amusement as I told her of our encounters and my flirtatious faux pas. She then gave me some welcome advice: “Take your time getting to know him, because getting to know each other is a really fun stage of the relationship.” She also said, “Always be yourself.” This advice instigated the realisation that society’s attitude towards romantic partnerships is designed to make women feel the need to rush into a relationship, whether it be because their biological clock is ticking or simply because they don’t want to be considered a spinster at thirty years of age. It also identified another issue: that women experience both internal and external pressure to change their appearance, their personality or alter their beliefs with the sole purpose of attracting a man… any man. Several weeks after my friend bestowed upon me her wise words, I’m happy to announce that I couldn’t agree with her more. Finding out new things about the man you’re interested in is fascinating, and learning every day that you have even more in common with him than you initially expected is near exhilarating. It just goes to show that for the single female, knowing yourself must be your top priority before seeking a partner. If you don’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect others to?

Being single should be considered less about one’s failure to obtain a life partner, and more potently as an opportunity to thrive in improving your own personal wellbeing. The satire of which NBC’s 30 Rock so cleverly represents is the misconception that it is an aberration to suffer defeat in your early adult years when it comes to dating and marriage. The episode titled ‘Cleveland’ sums up this sentiment nicely with a direct allusion to the characters of Sex and the City. The scene features three women in their thirties: awkward and self-sufficient Liz Lemon, vain blonde bombshell Jenna and upper class Christie’s snob Phoebe, who are talking about Phoebe’s quick engagement:

Phoebe      Let’s face it. At our age, we can’t afford to waste any time.  

Jenna        Mmm-hmm. 

Liz              [Laughs sarcastically] Floyd and I have been dating for a month. Do you think I should be mad that I don’t have a ring?

[Phoebe and Jenna nod in pity. Liz looks surprised.]  

Jenna        Well, how Sex and the City are we right now? I’m Samantha, [to Phoebe] you’re Charlotte, [to Liz] and you’re the lady at home that watches it! 

To quote 30 Rock’s patriarchal character Jack Donoughy (as played by Alec Baldwin), “there are no rules in love”. Ergo, women should remember to follow their instinct when it comes to dating, and avoid societal pressures to meet insubstantial deadlines.

If we keep in mind that there are no rules in love, no longer will the single woman submit to feelings of guilt and inner-turmoil because she was not married by the age of twenty-five. If we remember that there are no rules in love, no longer will men (in particular) be influenced by Hollywood dialogue telling them to wait three days before contacting their crush. If there are no rules in love, using your single status to get to know your own wants and needs will surely increase your chances of finding a partner that accepts you for who you are. If there are no rules in love, the metaphorical stage can dim its lights for good and allow these young, single women to venture out into the world and find a man they fancy, no longer existing as just another option to their male counterparts. 

If there are no rules in love, perhaps then the statement “I’m single” will no longer be met with a gasp.

Written by Belinda Pearce

4/5/14